Napabilib ako ng nabasa ko sa kapamilya network ang mga katagang ito. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ano kaya ang magiging summer story ko? Considering na very challenging ang aking summer apostolate this year.

Kung tutuusin, dapat sa katapusan na ng summer ako magsusulat ng aking summer story, pero sa sobrang excitement ko, ngayon palang magsisimula na ako para maishare ko na sa inyo ang part one of my summer story.

HOLY WEEK

I started my apostolate last Holy Wednesday at napasabak agad sa mahabang Way of the Cross. Ang practice pala dito sa Carranglan ay maglalakad ang mga devotees ng 12km. Imagine 12km for 14 stations, ang layo di ba? Pwedeng makatapos ng isang rosary in between stations. Medyo hindi maayos ang kalsada na nilalakaran kaya saktong sakto para sa mga gustong mamanata. Nagsimula ang Way of the Cross ng 5.30 ng umaga at natapos ito ng pasado 9.00am. Ang sabi ng ilan, mas maaga daw at mukhang napabilis pa daw kami ng lagay na yon dahil noong nakaraang taon ay inabot sila ng 10.00am. Sa totoo lang, isa ito sa mga hinangaan ko dito sa Carranglang, napakaraming tao ang nakidalo at nag-alay ng sakripisyo para sa Mahal na Araw. Yun nga lang, ang sabi ko sa aking kura, sana lahat ng mga dumalo ay nagsisimba din dahil kapansin-pansin ang bilang ng mga nagsisimba tuwing linggo kumpara sa mga dumalo sa Way of the Cross.
At dahil 12 kilometers ang nilakad namin (at dahil walang stretching na naganap), sumakit ang kaliwang binti ko, nakaramdam ako ng pulikat nang kami ay nasa ika-syam na istasyon pa lamang. At dahil hindi ako pwedeng tumigil, lumakad parin ako kahit pinupulikat na ang aking binti dahil maiiwan ako kapag huminto ako. Sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, magandang offering ito para sa Biyernes Santo, para sa kapatawaran ng aking mga kasalan at sa kasalanan ng mga tao.

OUTING

Nakasanayan na natin ang mag-outing pagkatapos ng Mahal na Araw at ang mga Knights of the Altar ay nagkasundong mag-outing sa Aloha falls sa Puncan, Carranglan. At kahit baguhan palang ako sa parokya na ito ay isinama parin ako ni Fr. Ariel para na rin makapag-enjoy at makapag-relax pagkatapos ng nakakapagod na Holy Week. Nakakatuwang pagmasdan ang mga batang nag-eenjoy lumangoy sa malamig na tubig ng falls na ito. Simple lang ang buhay ng mga batang ito. Simple ang kanilang mga pangarap at adhikain, nakakatuwang pagmasdan na kahit malayo ang nilakad namin na batuhan, masaya pa rin sila dahil alam nilang maganda ang pupuntahan nila. Maliit lang ang lugar na ito pero solved solved na sila. Ako din, bilang malapit sa mga bata at may pusong bata, enjoy na din sa kung anong mayroon kami. Sana may part 2 ang outing na ito.

CLASSMATE

Kasama siyempre sa aking apostolate ang pagpunta sa mga liblib na lugar dito sa Carranglan para magserve sa mga misa at blessings ni Fr. Ariel. Last Sunday, nagpunta kami sa Conversion at duon ko nakitang muli ang aking kaklase nung college. Habang ako ay nagpapakomunyon, nakilala ko agad ang mukha nila, sabi ko sa sarili ko, parang kilala ko ito. May kilik-kilik siyang anak sa kaliwa at may akay-akay sya sa kanan. Pagkatapos ng misa, lumapit sya sa akin at nagpakilala. Tuwang tuwa ako ng makita ko sya at nakilala namin ang isa’t isa. Nagkumustahan kami at pinakilala din nya ako sa kanyang mga kakilala sa simbahan na kakilala din naman ni Fr. Ariel. Mayroon na daw siyang dalawang anak at nakapangasawa siya ng isang sundalo at duon na sila sa Conversion naninirahan. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na sa malayong lugar na iyon ay duon pa kami magkikita, tunay ngang napakaliit ng mundo.

CATECHISM

Isa sa mga binigay na assignments sa akin ay ang magcatechise ng mga ikakasal. Hindi ko inaasahan na ako ang magbibigay dahil alam kong may mga katekista naman dito sa parokya, pero dahil na rin sa dami ng ginagawa nila at naniniwala silang mas magiging epektibo iyon kung ako ang magbibigay, ako ang inatasan ng aking kura para magbigay ng katekismo. Hindi ako prepared pero sa awa at tulong ng Diyos, naibigay ko naman ng maayos ang mga puntos na dapat nilang matutunan para sa kanilang nalalapit na kasal. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, pratice na din ito para sa aking future ministry. Patuloy ang aking pagdarasal na sana sa mga susunod pang mga katekismo ay mas malinawagan ang mga bibigyan ko nito at nawa maging kasangkapan ako ng Diyos sa paglago ng kanilang pananampalataya.

Talaga namang sobrang init ng summer ngayon at halos ayaw na nating lumabas ng bahay dahil pakiramdam natin na maluluto ang balat natin sa init ngunit kung ito naman ay magdudulot ng kasiyahan sa atin at sa mga taong nasa paligid natin, mas mabuti ng magbabad sa init ng araw, hindi ba? Ilang linggo palang ako dito sa Carranglan ay marami na akong naibahaging summer story. Kayo, ano ang summer story nyo?

Honestly, I felt sad but at the same time excited with the news I heard. I felt sad because the information was so sudden that I needed to pack my things up and travel the next day, and I would leave my mom alone again. She was expecting that I would spend my entire apostolate period in my home parish very near to our home, very near to her. It adds to the pain that my sister and my father could only come on Thursday; there was no chance to see them this Holy Week.

On the other hand, I felt excited because after hearing the news, I suddenly realized that this would be a great chance to be obedient to my bishop. No buts and no ifs, just say yes to my new assignment. I truly trust the wisdom of our bishop and I believed that it was the Holy Spirit who inspired him to transfer me to another assignment. I know there’s something in store for me in Carranglan.

Carranglan is last town of Nueva Ecija before Nueva Viscaya. It is a small town with a population around 35thou residents and has 16 barangays. It is somewhat surrounded with mountains and hills, and it is located near Pantabangan dam. If my calculation is correct, Carranglan is 3 hours away from my home town, Sto. Domingo.

Having this information in mind, my excitement grew bigger. I asked myself what can I contribute to this town? How can I share my talents and presence to the parishioners? How will I grow emotionally and spiritually with my short stay? I am so excited on the things that will learn in this parish; from the parish priest himself, church people, parish office, indigenous people, liturgy etc. All these questions and expectations will be answered after 6 weeks of my stay. I am just thinking, now that I had just stayed for three days, I already have so many things to write, how much more for six weeks?

I know that this exposure will be fruitful because God has his plans for me and for this parish. There’s no way to say to this assignment. I obeyed because I love my diocese, I obeyed because I love the Church and I obeyed because I love God. I believe that I will never be led astray in obedience.

I am asking for your prayers that this apostolate may bring something great for me and for the Church.

Holy Apostles Senior Seminary Search-In schedule is already on-going, that is, every Friday and Saturday of the week.

For more information, please call 895-8855 loc. 400 and look for Ate Domie or Ate Mina.

I struggled with my leadership ability few weeks ago. It’s not easy to lead a community which is so diverse with regard to personal backgrounds, attitudes, styles and personalities, plus the fact that I have to deal with my formators as well, being a mediator between them and the community.

We had several programs in the seminary few weeks ago and as the Community Coordinator, it was my duty to oversee the activities even though there were coordinators assigned in each tasks. Those activities were successful but of course there were things that were not anticipated. Of course, as a human being, we couldn’t achieve perfect result since we were limited. But why did felt this way? Why I had struggles? Here are the results of my reflection:

1. I’m a pleaser and I do not want conflicts with regard to my relationships with others. This makes me difficult in dealing with negative reactions and corrections from others. I am easily affected with what others will have to say. In short, very sensitive and emotionally immature.

2. My low self-esteem was triggered with the negative results of my mistakes and the comments I received because of it. Thinking that ‘I am not that good enough’ surfaced once again.

Thinking about these triggered issues made me recall what I had read from the book of Henri Nouwen ‘Spiritual Direction,’ he said that being too sensitive and having low self-esteem are rooted in having doubt of who you truly are. Doubting who you truly are is also known as Self-rejection. The greatest trap in life is actually not success, popularity or power but self-rejection and since it is easy nowadays to think that we are nobody because of the things offered by the world makes us believe that the ‘real happiness’ is way far achieving. The media never satisfies people, it always makes us long for momentary satisfaction and happiness.

Being aware of these issues and discovering new reflections about them made me advanced a step in overcoming them. There’s no use in pleasing everyone; it is impossible to please all of them after all. If they gave a feedback, I should take note of it and accept it freely whether the manner of delivery is rude or not. I should learn how to set aside my emotion with facts. Also, I should not focus on what I do not have or on what I am weak at but I have to focus on what I already have and on what I can do. In short, I should work out on the blessings and talents I have.

I have reservation in posting this entry because I might expose my issues too much to the public but then I realized that should be generous enough to somehow help the readers to learn something and relate themselves from my own experiences and to know how do I face and overcome my issues. – That’s make me feel better.

It was in the seminary that I appreciated reading books.

During the time of my live-in seminar in HASS I saw the physical beauty of having numerous books in the book shelves on the brother’s room that I stayed in. If I would accumulate this number of books, I would look like a genius, I told myself.

But of course, seeing those books did not only seduce me physically, it encouraged me to invest on them. Buying books was like investing for our knowledge and for our future ministry.

I began reading books quite challenging since I do not read that much upon entering the seminary. It was overwhelming to acquire 15 books at the beginning of the semester. And with that, I needed to adjust myself with regard to time management and to the load of the text that I have to insert in my opposing mind.

Eventually, I began to see the wisdom of reading books and I became addicted to it. I’ve learned so much from the books suggested by the formators from philosophizing to spiritualizing the purpose of my existence. Books are indeed packed with overflowing knowledge and experiences.

As of the moment, I am reading four different books simultaneously aside from the books required in my academics: Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen, A Story of a Soul (Autobiography of St. Therese), Imitation of Christ by Thomas Kempis, and my favorite A Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything by Fr. James Martin, SJ. You probably might ask how do I read these books at the same time? Well, the Jesuit Guide and A Story of a Soul are in my room; I choose one book to read before I sleep. And the Spiritual Direction and Imitation of Christ are in my pew in the chapel and I read them before prayer time or during Eucharistic Adoration every day.

With these wonderful books at my hands, how could I not read them all at the same time? These books were written by gifted writers, so gifted that they have the ability to instil every reader. Reading books somewhat changed my life; the way I think, the way I pray, the way I deal with others, the way I process my own issues, and even the way I discipline myself.

There is so much to learn through reading and I can’t wait to finish the books I’m currently reading. But of course, I do not want to rush everything that will compromise my understanding. Indeed, there are so many great books available out there, yet so little time.

It’s been a while since I continue to read my favorite book entitled ‘The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything.’ And it’s not surprising that I really missed this book, I really missed Fr. Jim, his wisdom, his humor, and his spirituality.

Now that I opened it once again, I was surprised on the chapter that I had stopped reading months ago. It was about living a simple life. Amazed to its message, telling to me directly that I have to pay attention on every single word Fr. Jim is talking about.

Living a simple life is very challenging in our generation especially in our present culture where it promotes inauthentic, temporal satisfaction and happiness. Businessmen lure people with their advertisements and let them believe that happiness will be achieved if they have it or experienced it.

As what Fr. Jim said on his book, there are ways how to simplify our complicated lives:

1.Get rid of whatever you don’t need. I know that you know that you already have this in mind but I think this is difficult to do especially to those people who keep things only for themselves. I remember what our formator said during one of his homilies, he said that ‘if you have clothes on your closet that you do not use for a year, you do not need it anymore and those clothes belongs to the poor somewhere out there.’ After hearing this, I started to get rid of the things that I think I do not need like clothes, office supplies, toiletries and even plants. Believe me, you will be amazed on your feelings afterwards. The feeling of tidiness, freedom and generosity. Since then, I began to give away things that I think I do not need and I felt so damn good!

2. Distinguish between wants and need. Looking at the difference between wants and need is harder than getting rid of whatever you think you do not need. Sometimes we are blinded by the advertisements of the ‘must haves’ products. We tend to fool ourselves that those things are need but in reality, those are only wants because those things are ‘in-demand’, trending, or you just saw your friends have it. In the seminary context, once again, our formators are always vigilant on the things that we buy. They always remind us that we should ask ourselves a question before buying things and that is ‘Does it has an apostolic value?’ If the answer is yes, then go and buy it. But if with all honesty, the answer is no, no need to think twice, don’t buy it anymore. It is because we are seminarians and most of us depend on our benefactors and it is unfair for them if we buy things excessively. They work hard for that money and yet we will only spend it on useless things.

3. Get rid of things you think you need, but can actually live without. Just like the author, Fr. Jim, this is also quite a struggle for me in integrating it in my seminary life. In Tagalog, ‘pikit mata kang magbabahagi’ and it is not easy. This is where true charity comes; where there are people in need and you share what you have which is important to you or you also need it. This is very challenging because here in the seminary. There are brother seminarians who always ask for things that they need and it takes some time for me to decide whether I should give it or not because I was still struggling whether this seminarian needs that thing more than I do.

4. Get to know the poor. My BEC exposure in Compostela Valley reminded me about my life before. Most of the people in that place are poor and needs help. God brought me to that place so that I would be able to share the blessings I received. After contemplating, I decided to help the two high school workers in the parish with their school supplies through the generosity of friends. If only it is possible to help them monthly with their allowance, since they are jobless now, I would be so glad to help them.

It is true that living simply will make you freer than having everything. I’m not saying I’m living a very simple life now but I can say that I’m on it. I’m on the process of getting rid of what I do not need, distinguishing what are my wants and needs, getting rid what I need but can live without and getting to know the poor. Of course, it is a struggle! Especially when I had experienced it when I was still working and earning much for myself. I believe that this process will take quite some time to sink in and make it as a habit. But of course, I trust Jesus that sooner or later I will live a simple life to be more focused on Him, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Three years. Yes, it’s been three years since I entered the seminary. When I looked back on my previous formation years, I couldn’t help myself but to amaze on what had happened to me as I grow maturely not only spiritually but also psychologically. I often hear the words ‘dying to oneself’ here in the seminary which at first I couldn’t understand why I need to die if I could enjoy the things available around me? It was indeed a different kind of dying.

Last June 3, right after our community outing in Bataan, we had our community election. And I was elected as the Community Coordinator. In other words, the president of the whole community. To be honest, it was not surprising anymore because I already had this feeling since March when I had my Colloquium with Fr. Robbie. I was challenged by him to go out of my comfort zone and to try something more fruitful outside what I used to do and what I am good at. This includes trying to be an emcee and singing the Responsorial Psalm which is obviously not my cup of tea.

Dying to oneself actually means going out of your comfort zone in order for you to discover more about yourself. You will be surprised realizing that there are things that you can do that you often think is impossible. When I was asked by Fr. Robbie during my earlier years in the formation, what are the things that I do not usually do that I can do eventually inside the seminary? My answer was singing. What the heck, I couldn’t even sing the happy birthday song properly. But then, I was challenged. I was asked to go out of my comfort zone. After the ear dropping, mind blogging, monstrous sweating practices and hard core prayers, I eventually found myself on tune, for at least with my own hearing.

Now that I am being asked once again to go out of my comfort zone, I need to die to myself once again. That is giving up comfort and the customary schedule, and to exercise my leadership ability by being a good servant to the community. With constant prayers and with the intercession of Ina and my patron saints Benedict, Ignatius, Therese and Anthony, I will be once again succeed in challenging myself to do something great outside my comfort zone.

From the very beginning of our formation, our formators asked us to have our own Marian devotion in order for us to be guided by our Blessed Mother because she is the mother of all vocations.

I must admit, I find it quite difficult to what devotion should I choose because there are numerous titles of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Our formators said, I have to pray over it. And I did.

I chose among Our Lady of Mt. Carmel (since she is our batch Marian image), Fatima, Queen of Apostles, Lourdes, and Immaculate Conception but none of them inspire me to have devotion with.
I didn’t pressure myself in choosing my personal Marian devotion but I constantly praying for it. I prayed that sooner or later, I will be able to choose the one to fall in love with. And the time had come when I and other brother seminarians went to Naga for Agot’s send off.

We took the train from Manila and we reached Naga after ten hours. We went straight to the Basilica of Our Lady of Peñafrancia after breakfast. All I thought was, it was just an ordinary Basilica of Our Lady only differs in name. I was wrong. The Basilica was totally neat; the glass windows complement each other expressing our culture and devotion to ‘Ina.’

There was some kind of attraction inside the Basilica that I couldn’t explain. Peace and joy overwhelms me. ‘So, this is the famous ‘Ina’ that people are talking all the time.’ I said to myself. Then I remembered my prayer, the prayer that I always say during my discernment in choosing my personal Marian devotion. It popped up right there the question ‘Why do I need to choose among the international titles of Mary where there is ‘Ina’ here in my own country?

I smiled. I realized how I became so choosy and didn’t remember that we have ‘Ina’ whom I could visit anytime. While still contemplating about what was going on, I remembered the people who have devotion to Ina; Fr. Xave and other Jesuits scholastics, and Agot and the Ephraim batch. I chuckled this time. Ina was already introducing herself to me through these people and yet I did not give my attention to her. A huge sigh was next and a scratch on my head.
All could say was ‘Thank you, Ina.’

During our annual community retreat held last week, my devotion to Ina became even stronger. Thanks to Fr. Jim Ferrey of the Maryknoll Fathers in instilling in us the importance of imitating the lives of the saints in following what Jesus did while He was still on earth.
After the retreat, I felt so grateful because in spite of my sinfulness, there is one Mother up there who is always watching over me, taking care of me, guiding me constantly, and praying for me to her Son.

I never prayed the rosary as intimate as this before. I never felt so loved like this before. I never felt so in love with Mary like this before. Every time I pray, it is always as if I’m talking to her personally; telling her all about my concerns, my worries, my gratefulness, and all. She is like there, in front of me, listening and smiling at me. So intimate. So new. So real.

Once again, Thank you po, Ina. Thank you, Lord.

MANILA, May 15, 2012—Pope Benedict XVI has appointed San Fernando (Pampanga) Auxiliary Bishop Roberto Mallari as the new bishop of San Jose in Nueva Ecija.

Mallari, 54, will take over the post left vacant by Bishop Mylo Hubert Vergara, who was transferred to the Diocese of Pasig last April 2011.

The appointment was officially announced in Rome on Tuesday at 6pm Manila time.

PERSONAL

Birth: March 27, 1958
Place of Birth: Masantol, Pampanga
Sacerdotal Ordination: November 27, 1982
Episcopal Ordination: March 27, 2006

EDUCATION

Elementary – Pampanga College (Grade I) Macabebe, Pampanga (1964-1965) – Masantol Elementary School (Grades II to VI) Masantol, Pampanga (1965-1970)
High School – Mother of Good Counsel (Minor) Seminary, Del Pilar, City of San Fernando, Pampanga (1970-1974)
Arts and Letters – University of Sto. Tomas, Espana, Manila (1974-1975)
Philosophy – San Carlos Seminary, Guadalupe, Makati City (1975-1978)
Theology – San Carlos Seminary, Guadalupe, Makati City (1978-1982)
MINISTRY

December 1982 – May 1983 – Associate Pastor, San Vicente Ferrer Parish, SF Pampanga
May 1983 – May 1985 – Spiritual Director, Mother of Good Counsel Seminary, SF Pampanga
May 1985 – May 1987 – Spiritual Director, Philosophy Director, Mother of Good Counsel Seminary
May 1987 to November 1989 – Guest Priest, Immaculate Conception Parish (Nature Church)Moonwalk, Las Pinas City
1989 – 1994 – Spiritual Director, Theology Department, Mother of Good Counsel Seminary Del Pilar, City of San Fernando, Pampanga
1990 and 1994 – 1997 – Director, Commission on Family and Life, Archdiocese of SF Pampanga
October 1998 – May 2006 – Parish Priest, The Lord’s Ascension Parish, SF Pampanga
2000 – 2007 – Executive Secretary, Episcopal Commission on Family and Life, CBCP
June 2007 – present – Member, Episcopal Commission on Family and Life, CBCP, CBCP Building, Intramuros, Manila
June 2007 – present – Member, Episcopal Commission on the Youth, CBCP
June 2007 – present – President, University of the Assumption, Unisite, Del Pilar, SF Pampanga
Superintendent – Archdiocesan Schools of Pampanga, Archdiocese of San Fernando, Pampanga

Let us all offer prayers for our new bishop, Bp. Roberto C. Mallari, D.D.

So here’s the continuation of my reflection:

7. How to understand and deal with people who have different personalities.

I’ve learned so much in the seminary especially with regard to dealing with different personalities. It was indeed very useful to know and understand people about their personalities in order for you to accept them and love them. Indeed, my experience in Camanlangan became my hands-on training on what I had learned in the seminary. Of course it was hard especially if they triggered your issues but it was easier than expected.

8. How to remember my old days and used it as a tool to inspire others.

As mentioned in part 1, I was blessed to remember my past in middle of a very comfortable life. I was so happy that I was able to share those experiences to the people I knew who were undergoing the same struggles as mine. I remember one of our ‘labahan sessions’ where we chat while washing our own clothes; they asked me to share my stories of hardships and pain, they remind them of their current situation. We couldn’t help ourselves but to cry. As much as I wanted to control it, I just proved to myself once again that I was indeed a cry baby. They told me that they were inspired by my stories and they gave them strength to pursue on their studies and work hard to help their family.

9. How to be more patient and obedient.

Everyday is Manualia day in Camanlangan! Before the sun rises everyday, we have to clean the backyard of the parish. And after breakfast, we do whatever our kura wants us to do like cutting off the grass, cleaning the rest house and it’s huge backyard, cleaning the Chapel, gardening, and other household chores including cooking and preparing meals. This I should include the manual computing of every GKK’s financial report, and when I say manual, it is with calculator, ballpen and yellow pad only.

This really made me more patient because of the limited resources and idle time we had. Since we had more free time, it was better if we would be creative and use those spare time in a more fruitful way.

10. How to enjoy silence and humor at the same time.

I used to joke to everyone that my experience in Camanlangan was like experiencing a 30-day silent retreat because of the place and idle times especially when there’s no electricity. The place was so quiet and it was as if there were only few people living in that Barangay. When the sun sets, people were already inside their houses watching tv or having their dinner then would rest afterwards.

It was helpful for me in preparing myself for prayer and meditation. But at the same time I enjoyed having fun with the workers and staff. They had natural sense of humor which I like most. They did not need to exert any effort in making me laugh, it all came out naturally. I was thinking that it was indeed God’s grace that He made my experience balanced with enough amount of silence equal to the amount of humor we’ve got.

11. How to see Jesus not only inside but also outside the chapel.

The people of Camanlangan are living evidence that God is indeed everywhere.

They were not just ‘attendee’ during the Mass but were Christians who love and take care of their brothers. I saw the authentic concerns on each other. The damayan and bayanihan were very much alive plus the good leadership abilities of the GKK presidents were also noticeable. I was really amazed on how they support each other, how they understood each other, and how they love each other not just church members but as Christians. Jesus could be found everywhere, indeed.

There’s so much to share, so little time and space. I wish that I could write as many reflections as I could but I have to attend other things also. Now I understand why the older brothers talk so much about their BEC experiences, it was because they gained so much with it, so much that they couldn’t stop sharing them just like what I was doing right now.